Dear St. Valentine,
I know your special day has come around once again, but before you deliver my man in a blue box, might I make a few addendum's, suggests, ok, requests if you will...
Legends say a kiss is a terrible thing to waste and I don't wish to be cavalier with delicate tokens of affection. But I also recognize that Love lasts the length of a man's penis, so please dear Cupid, heed my words...
Please realize, I don't need candy hearts, paper flowers, packages tied up with string, chocolates, love songs, sentimental words or other romantic things. Jewelry is always nice, perhaps a pearl necklace...
If you insist and must stab me with your steely knife, poke me with your lover's thorn, that bespelled tipped arrow; let Needle be pressed against my lusty bosom, may it prick my wanty heart, setting my love free to flow like a crimson tide...
I beg of you, don't bore me with a dragon slaying knight, an archer robbing the rich to give to the poor or some dashing gunslinger saving me from a dastardly evil villain...
Instead give me a beautiful Viking, cunning as a fox, with a warriors mind and a lovers heart and eyes that sparkle like a vampire. May he be my Sun and Stars and I will be his Moon til the sun rises in the west and sets in the east. Let our unconventional love last an enternity...
Sincerely yours,
A Hopeful Romantic
I know your special day has come around once again, but before you deliver my man in a blue box, might I make a few addendum's, suggests, ok, requests if you will...
Legends say a kiss is a terrible thing to waste and I don't wish to be cavalier with delicate tokens of affection. But I also recognize that Love lasts the length of a man's penis, so please dear Cupid, heed my words...
Please realize, I don't need candy hearts, paper flowers, packages tied up with string, chocolates, love songs, sentimental words or other romantic things. Jewelry is always nice, perhaps a pearl necklace...
If you insist and must stab me with your steely knife, poke me with your lover's thorn, that bespelled tipped arrow; let Needle be pressed against my lusty bosom, may it prick my wanty heart, setting my love free to flow like a crimson tide...
I beg of you, don't bore me with a dragon slaying knight, an archer robbing the rich to give to the poor or some dashing gunslinger saving me from a dastardly evil villain...
Instead give me a beautiful Viking, cunning as a fox, with a warriors mind and a lovers heart and eyes that sparkle like a vampire. May he be my Sun and Stars and I will be his Moon til the sun rises in the west and sets in the east. Let our unconventional love last an enternity...
Sincerely yours,
A Hopeful Romantic
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