All For Not?

So even after I shed almost 20lbs, I still looked like a tub-o-lard in green chiffon. You got it. The wedding of Bea & Jay was on Saturday and it was truly a wonderful and beautiful event if you didn't mind the elephant in the room; me. For some unknown reason, that even though the dress fit days before and even the night before the wedding, the day of.. I gained 20 pounds or the dress shrunk. Either way it wasn't fitting. I asked the bride (very wildly and tearfully) for another 10 minutes to try to fix the problem and we exchanged some heated words and it ended with her walking out to line up and me crying and saying "How very matrue of you, thanks!" Surely not my most shinning moment. So another bridesmaid scrambled to put a shawl on my shoulders to cover my bountiful boosm..... honestly i think it made things worse, but as I was reminded by said bridesmaid... everyone will be looking at Bea anyway and wont eve notice me (oh btw.. my ego loved that one). So, the bride said I looked fine and to get it together.. No one likes to hear they look fine (it really means, you aren't ugly but you still look bad). After the ceremonly a well meaning moron came up to me and said I had an odd look on my face during the whole wedding. (seriously?) I was horriblely uncomfortable (not just in THAT dress, but in my own skin) and completely ashamed... but I thought I was smiling through it for Bea. (another let down I suppose, how she must be truly dissapointed) At the reception, I gave a nice speech. Not many people talked to me, ok I think 3 people NOT in the wedding party spoke to me. I scrambled to find two of my kids (I took the older 2 girls, thought we'd have some fun together) but honestly even they didn't want to be around the chaos that was me that day. I don't blame them. Before I knew it. Bea & Jay left and all was over.... Until we met for lunch before I and my kids left town, after hugging and being all happy to see each other.. the first thing out of her mouth "So, rumor has it people we taking bets to see how soon your chest would burst out of your dress." (smiling and laughing... her not me). I was a total clown, exactly what I didn't want to be and all that hard work (diet and exercise) I did months before the wedding was all for not.....

Signing off,
Ursula (aka tub-o-lard in chiffon)